How To Deal With Mobbing
This is the no-bullshit-guide on how to deal with mobbing. It is not what you whould expect tho. Your friends influence you. Maybe you’ve heard the phrase “You are the average of your five best friends.”. It’s true. But it’s only half of the truth. The real truth is: Your friends are five personalities based on you!
So in order to get nicer friends, you need to improve!
Do you do your homework? How are your grades? What music do you listen to and how often? Do you save your money? Do you take drugs? Are you in a healthy relationship? But there’s more. If someone is not nice, let’s say they mob you because you are a little chubby. Are you the fattest kid in school? Probably not! It is never the fattest kid in school that gets called “fat”. So, in most cases, it’s not the situation or your body that needs to be changed.
You need to change your reaction, behavior, and your perspective!
But how does one react differently? You need to develop a specific mindset. This very mindset is hard to describe and for some hard to learn, but when once mastered it is never forgotten. This technique is like a magic bullet. When it is applied, everything that would otherwise offend you now sounds like it is in another language and very monotone. You just don’t care anymore. You can remain quiet, or answer with “I don’t have time for an answer right now. How about tomorrow?”. You can even say “Aaand??” or “So what?”.
It doesn’t matter what you say when you master this technique.
The key is your mindset. You are the gold standard. Everything you do is “normal”, “good”, “okay”, “the best” or “worthy to be admired”. But remember that there is no morality whatsoever if someone hits you.
Violence must never be tolerated.
So what to do when there is violence involved? If possible you can avoid them. Otherwise seek help. Teacher, Police, FBI, I don’t know. I am against vigilante justice. But the best thing you can do first is to talk with them: Ask them “Are you angry?”, “Are you mad?”. Talk about their feelings. Maybe they will open up. I’m sure behind every violent person is a hurt person. So ask them how they feel and what they need. Maybe they will open up. (this is inspired by the book nonviolent communication).
Who hugs his enemy makes him unable to move.
You can make them a compliment. Maybe they will open up that way. If you can’t beat them, befriend them. Be nice. This is general advice! Don’t, I repeat, never, give bad energy back. Whatever you receive, you don’t need to give it back.
The more they mob you, the nicer you need to be.
How? Well. How is this circle supposed to end otherwise? Plus: If you give bad energy back, you poison yourself. And, believe me, you don’t want that. Everything you say, you also hear. And you can not protect yourself from the effect of your own words. So if you call someone names, you call yourself names too. So don’t respond in a bad way.
You will see, that if the desired reaction is missing, they will let go of you.
Your attitude makes your life. In one of the Harry Potter Movies, there is a scene where Ron receives a dress that seems ugly. He is wearing it without pride so it looks bad. But it would look all right when he would wear it with more pride. Wear your fat with pride. You are now big-o-fatty. Eat your vegan food. You are now the master cook. Whatever you are discriminated for. Live as if it is “normal” or “the best”. Be a bit more creative than I am. You don’t need fancy words by the way. You just need the mindset. I myself wouldn’t use the title master cook. But when someone once criticized me, I ate with my food with a “whatever”-mindset. You need that very same attitude.